Posted by: penpatience | February 29, 2020

GOLFERS TELL GREAT (TALL) STORIES

 

 

 

 

WRITERS WORDS: “Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.” –Will Rogers

 

MARCH 2020 MONTHLY MUSING

 

GOLFERS TELL GREAT (TALL) STORIES

 

It’s difficult to write about golf in the middle of a Northeast winter. Many avid golfers retreat to indoor practice arenas until grounds thaw and courses are readied for the season. If you are lucky, as I was for many years, to live or Snowbird in warmer climes—no problem. You can golf the winter blues away. However, the last time I wrote a Golf Musing, I noticed reader decline that month.  Hey! Golfers tell great stories and share them most often on the 19th hole!!

Its recorded Golf originated from a game played on the coast of Scotland during the 15th century. Golfers would hit a pebble instead of a ball around the sand dunes using a stick or club. It wasn’t until 1750 that golf evolved into the sport as we recognize it today. The New York Tribune in 1916 wrote a spot-on description of the game of golf, “Golf is, in part a game; but only in part. It is also a religion, a fever, an abscess, a joy, a thrill, a pest, a disease, an uplift, a brooding, a melancholy, a dream of yesterday, and a hope for tomorrow.”  I have to agree with the Tribune. Golf is all those things and I believe a bad day on the course is better than a good day anywhere else.

Writers, who are also golfers, are witness to various personality traits and ethics among their peers. A sport known for its professional manners, there are some players that contradict the game’s traditional behaviors. I share a few experiences encountered over time:

I played in a Ladies League at a Florida golf course. An initial sighting of an alligator located near the first hole sunning himself by a mid-size water trap made several players nervous including me. After numerous tense exchanges and hasty drives off the tee, numerous complaints eventually had the gator removed. (Gators often appear in unexpected waterways in the Sunshine State.)

I’ve witnessed on some occasions golfers who swing the drivers, miss the ball-oops– and forget to count the stroke unless a teammate brings the miscount to their attention. (It’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it😊

I played with a group once and was advised they didn’t keep score, said they played for the fun of it. I never played with them again.

Sometimes a few golfers may get inebriated with a tad too many beers at the turn resulting in haphazard hits often into the water—Why don’t they wait to have a celebratory drink on the 19th hole?

A true story:  My partner and I were playing when a threesome behind us included (I have to say it) a loudmouth who shouted and complained of slowness to his two teammates and to my partner and I. I looked back a few times at the threesome and surmised correctly the miserable player  did not arrive with the two players and was assigned by the course scheduler.  I was driving the ball onto the green at the 18th hole when a golf ball hit me in my left side. Bruised, but unhurt, my partner and I returned to the clubhouse and lodged a complaint. The two players behind us voiced a similar protest. Writers—here’s a golden opportunity! If you write Mystery, Murder or Thriller tales, this potty-mouthed player could be discovered a month later deeply buried and rotting in a sand trap, Who-Done-It?”

And, don’t forget to enjoy the camaraderie at the 19th hole. Order your favorite drink and listen to the good chatter (birdies), the bad (cart path bounce) and the ugly (3 missing balls lost forever in the woods).  Oh! And the great (two players scored in the low seventies and another below par😊

Write on…. And Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  “May your blessings outnumber the Shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go” – Irish Blessing


Responses

  1. Great article. As one who have golfed over the years, I can relate to many of the examples you do colorfully describe.

    Like

    • Thanks Mark – for the likes and comment.

      Like


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